"We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful what we pretend to be."
-Kurt Vonnegut
andiamburdenedwithgloriousfeels:
This is pretty much me in the shower
when you take a shower you turn into gollum?????
myyyy coNDITIONEERRRRRR
And when the conditioner gets in my eyes, I screech:
IT BURNS UUUSSSSSSSSSS
This turns up on my dash every few days and makes me laugh every time.
(via whaaaaatevenis)
I knew y’all would have a gif set of this by morning.
Truth.
(via whaaaaatevenis)
(via congrats-youre-alive)
(via congrats-youre-alive)
(via tay-day)
in the south we don’t say “you’re a dumb fuck” we say “bless your heart” and i think that’s beautiful.
(via tay-day)
omg i was at starbucks and there was this girl and she had her hair in a bun and had a crop top with flowers on it and i hissed “hipster blog” and she turned around and snarled “fandom blog” and then we shook hands and exchanged urls her tumblr is pretty nice i dont see why there’s a rivalry we’re all wasting our lives on the same goddamn website
(via tay-day)
| me: | (out shopping, looking all fly with my Marvel comics tote bag featuring several characters) |
|---|---|
| dude: | nice bag. |
| me: | thanks. (keeps on shopping) |
| dude: | do you even know who all those characters are? |
| me: | uh... yeah? |
| dude: | ok then, who's that guy? (points at a character on the bag) |
| me: | |
| me: | wait, are you asking me to prove that I'm enough of a fan enough to carry this bag? |
| dude: | (smirks) that's what I thought. He's called the Silver Surfer. I bet you don't even know his real name. |
| me: | does it matter? (starts to edge away before I start punching throats) |
| dude: | psh, you're not a real fan. |
| me: | |
| me: | (slowly unsheathing my Wolverine claws) |
| me: | how many pairs of chromosomes do humans contain in their cells? |
| dude: | uh... what? |
| me: | explain the function of cellular mitosis? |
| dude: | |
| me: | what is the purpose of myelin sheath with regards to the formation of new neural pathways? |
| dude: | what are you even talking about? |
| me: | oh, well it seemed that you were implying that if I don't know as much about the Marvel universe as you do, then I can't possibly be considered a real fan. This is me implying that because you don't know as much about the human body as I do, you can't possibly be considered a real human being. |
| dude: | |
| dude: | |
| dude: | |
| dude: | Um, I... wow. You're right. Have a nice day. (starts to shuffle away) |
| me: | his name is Norrin Radd. |
| dude: | (looks extremely embarrassed) |
*reads the last line again*
*closes the book*
*deep sigh*
*screams*
*throws book out the window*
*jumps out the window after it*
*writhes in pain while clutching the book*
*cries and rocks it back and forth*
*puts it back down on the shelf*
*deep breath*
*Calls friend* “read this book”
(via tay-day)
